Holly and I have been going non-stop for the past two months, doing our best to get our house and our lives ready for Emma's introduction into this world, and there's still more to be done. A part of me laughs at the nice sentiment of letting projects die that all the pregnancy books and birthing classes offer, because some of it is not even optional. The nursery is mostly done, but there still are some decorations to be attended to, a few pieces of trim to be tacked on, and some closet doors to be painted and installed. Then there are the final few bits of clothes to be washed and put away, ready for Emma to wear and stain. I have a study I can hardly use due to the clutter, and I am in desperate need of getting it cleaned up and put back into order for the physical chaos is creating mental chaos and that has me unhinged and getting short with people.

Sleep is a myth, one I chase after every night, and I know it will only get worse, and I curse those people who remind me. The heat is actually helping Holly sleep better, but that is only because we have the windows open all night and she actually cools down in the middle of the night. We still have some details to arrange regarding getting leave of absence from work, it seems some companies have policies that push the boundaries of what is legally allowed. Holly is not packed for the hospital yet. I think we have some clothes for Emma packed, but don't ask me where. I know I have a bag of food ready for me to take, somewhere, for those times I can keep something down amidst all the blood and pain.

I have a laundry list of things to get done on my computer, some of them in preparation for posting photos of my little girl parasite pretending to be a human girl, others are house cleaning things left over from migrating to a new server and new iMac. Then there are those projects I've been close to finishing for a few weeks now that I just want to push and get out the door and off my mind.

Then there are the chores. The poor cats are suffering with weekly litter box cleanings (instead of daily) and even then they have to remind me by making it extra odiferous or I forget they even go potty. The food is running low in the house and we are both running low on energy to do some shopping. With the heat and our depleted energy stores neither of us want to cook dinner, and yet we can't really waste money on eating out.

So if you were to ask how things are going and what I'm doing in my spare time I'd either scowl at you with The Evil Eye™ or I'd give you my best Yosemite Sam impression, only I may not mumble as well as he did. I'm tired; Holly's tired; we have three weeks to go and I don't know that we'll be ready for Emma. We'll be glad she's here, and then regret the loss of what little "spare" time we thought we had left. I was hoping to be more rested, more eager, and more at rest with this. This is not how I wanted to greet my little girl. Life: it happens.